Group #22: People who don’t pick up after their pets

Clean that s*** up! It’s the law in many places. And for good reason. I almost slipped in some on my way to work this morning. And in my good suit. Nasty.

People who don’t pick up after their pets: stop ticking me off!

Group #21: Man-whores

Let’s set this straight, man-whores are whores. Women do not have a monopoly on the term. Man-whores will always be whores, despite their sexual orientation.

Man-whores are the worst, based on the fact a double standard exist between the genders. A man is almost expected to be a whore, but there are some that take it to another level. When your drinking buddy from college pulls you aside to talk about settling down, you should probably reevaluate your whoredom.

If you are challenging yourself by how many one-night liaisons you can get away with in a week, you are a whore. If you have sex in order to move up, you are a whore. If you keep a year’s supply of condoms handy, then you are a careful whore.

Better have a good job, because sooner or later, you may get one pass the field goal. Go ahead and budget in child support.

Man-whores: stop ticking me off!

Group #20: Random People In Your Group of Friends

Picture this: you are hanging out with some college buddies, kicking it like old times. Someone cracks a joke that makes everyone uncomfortable. Then you realize, who the hell is this person???

You ask your former roommate who that person was. She replies, “I thought she was your friend.”

Who invited you? No one in the group seems to know you. Yet, you act like you don't notice the blank stares when you retell a story we all are supposed to remember. But, who ARE you? Inquiring minds want to know!

Oh, you must be someone's main squeeze. Wait, you're single. Hmmm.

Well, Chris...Taylor...Ashley, that was a great story. Note to self: watch facebook friend requests more closely.

Random people in your group of friends: stop ticking me off!

Group #19: People Who Say "Bling"

Stop it. Just stop it. It's too 1990s. I'm originally from the Gulf Coast, where we were using the word since '96. It was played out in 2001. Unless you are singing the song, don't use it. Just stop. It's too old. Got it? Tubular.

People who use the word “bling:” stop ticking me off!

Group #18: Bad Parents

If I were a songwriter, I would write an ode to all the awesome parents out there. Parents so awesome, they would arm wrestle an old lady for the last G. I. Joe on the shelf during the Christmas rush, or camp outside three days to get their child into that exclusive school (thanks, mom and dad!).

But ever so often, you witness an abomination of parenthood. Parents so terrible, they keep Maury and the state social service departments in business for years. I'm talking about you, Octomom.

But not just her, any so-called “parent” you may witness in life who doesn't take their role as provider and teacher very seriously. Whether it's a dad who uses their toddler as a beer can holder, or a mom who shuts her screaming child up with candy, they insure pure, generational failure of the highest form. My, someone's gene pool is as deep as my frying pan. When your child flunks out of his TV/VCR repair school because he keeps blowing up his meth lab, don't wonder what went wrong.



Your child should be the most important thing in your life. A child is not a toy or a fashion accessory. Your child is a person who depends on you for a lifetime of guidance. So, please, Britney Spears and company, use a child safety seat. And don't be afraid to slap some sense into your teen every once in awhile, Federation of Moms of Out-of-Control-Teens on Maury. But not too hard. Bail and legal fees are expensive.

I may not advocate sterilization, but some people are pushing it. Maybe I should write my congressperson to be sure.

Bad Parents: stop ticking me off!

Group #17: People who type in ALL CAPS

GUESS WHAT? I REALLY CAN'T STAND WHEN SOMEONE TYPES IN ALL CAPS. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHY? YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. LOL.

OMG, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU MUST YELL YOUR MESSAGE TO THE WORLD. I DOUBT ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH. WTF, MAN. ARE YOU THE BILLY MAYS OF INTERNET WRITING?


I HAVE A GREAT IDEA. HOW ABOUT I RIP THE 'CAPS LOCK' OFF OF YOUR COMPUTER? THAT WAY, WE ALL CAN HAVE A DECENT INTERNET CONVERSATION IN PEACE! See? Isn't that better?

People who type in ALL CAPS: STFU already and stop ticking me off!

Group #16: C-List Celebrities Milking That 15 Minutes

Apparently, at some point in life, everyone once to become famous. Usually this dream goes away before adulthood; that's when you realize you may not want the paparazzi in your face while on vacation. Or going through a nasty divorce. Or being charged with a DUI. Most of us like our less-than-fanfare existence and if given the choice between rich or famous, would choose rich.

But there is a special group of people this does not apply to. Their stint on American Idol, The Real World, or Cops is over and they want to extend that 15 minutes as long as possible. These "celebrities" just don't quit. How much attention does a person need in a lifetime? And who cares?

Your typical, attention-whore C-lister thinks of this: "Hmmm, what else can I do to completely waste the media and normal people's time? How can I distract them from the escalating drug war in Central America or the child molester on the loose?" Take your pick. Talk about projects "in the works"with respectable A-listers and companies. Have more children than a kindergarten classroom. Sleep with a US Senator. Cut an album vaguely resembling music. Come out as gay. Some guy even killed a couple.

Do us all a favor and take a more respectable trek back into obscurity. Or is that not media maverick enough? Well, who cares. At best, people are going to wonder, "Who is this person?" At worst, prepare to overpromote yourself as the headline news story at some county fair or church festival in Montana. And remember that the banner for your event always has to read "Popular realty show-star John McMediaWhore." And remember to give them a shout-out in your exposé book no one would read.

C-listers milking that 15 minutes: stop ticking me off!

Group #15: Guys Who Use Cheesy Pickup Lines

It's bad enough going through life as a woman. Every civilization on earth sees you as a baby machine, or a man-pleaser. You get that painful, annoying thing every month, and people call you a bitch for showing a little leadership. So understand when I don't jump for joy when you tell me my pants are like a mirror. I don't see you in them!

Cheesy pickup lines should stay in 1970s sitcoms where they belong. Nothing says "I still live with my mother" than a inappropriate pick-up line. What's my sign??? Whatever happened to "hi" ? And stop telling me how much you love a woman with curves, or a full-figured woman. I know what you mean, and the answer is no. Plus, telling me how much you love full-figured women is like telling me you think I'm chubby, but doable.

You are not clever, sir. I actually feel sorry for you. But I still won't sleep with you. So I don't need another bone in my body, I don't wanna know how long I've been running though your mind, and I may scream your name later, but only to point you out to the cops, you perv!

Guys Who Use Cheesy Pickup Lines: stop ticking me off!

Group #14: Spammers

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Group #13: The "I'm-Not-Racists" Who Quote Racists

In order to close Black History Month, I would like to dedicate this section to a special group of people. And by "special", I mean special ed. Of course, I'm talking about those people who claim not to be racist, yet love to quote some chain letter they saw originally written by a white nationalist.

When Attorney General Eric Holder urged Americans of all creeds to openly discuss race, these "special" group of people took offense, and in some crazy way, actually accomplished what Holder asked of them. These people start off every discussion about race with the words: "I'm no racist, but..."

...But what? Are you actually going to say something racist? Why do you have to warn people of what you are going to say? Apparently, it's the worst thing in the world to be labeled a racist. How offensive, right?

It's okay to be proud of your race. It is also okay to talk openly about race. It is NOT okay, however, to use someone else's misguided and unresearched opinion as your own. That makes you a stupid racist!

So when Black History Month rolls around each year, you will find this poem in message boards, YouTube videos, and Yahoo answers:

Proud To Be White

Someone finally said it.
How many are actually paying attention to this? There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, Native Americans, etc. And then there are just Americans.

You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You Call me "White boy," "Cracker," "Honkey," "Whitey," "Caveman" .. And that's OK.
But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... You call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, So why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You Have Yom Hashoah You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi You have the NAACP.

You have BET. If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) .. We'd be racists.
If we had a White Pride Day . You would call us racists. If we had White History Month . We'd be racists.

If we had any organization for only whites to "advance" OUR lives We'd be racists. We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that?

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships you know we'd be racists.

There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US , yet if there were "White colleges" .. THAT would be a racist college.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, You would call us racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're Not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride .. You call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer Shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running From the law and posing a threat to society .. You call him a racist.

I am proud. But, you call me a racist. Why is it that only whites can be racists? There is nothing improper about this e-mail. Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on. Hell of a point made here, isn't it?

*deep sigh*. Man, this is depressingly stupid. And yet I see it every February, as well as quoted from many "not-racists." Especially those who like to declare things like, "if we had a NAAWP, the National Association for the Advancement of White People, it would be racist." That's because there IS a NAAWP, and it IS racist. It's a white supremacist group, founded in 1953. Google it, dumbass!

Not to mention the NAACP is 100 years old, and was started to fight and represent blacks against biased Jim Crow laws. And it had white founders as well the black founders. If you paid attention during BHM, you would know that.

It will be pointless to point out all the misinformation in this steaming pile. I'll just focus on the information that's the most outlandish.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you,
So why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

Yeah, cause we all know how much the Georgia wilderness in movie Deliverance was similar to Disneyland (cue banjos). But seriously, it's not rocket science to figure out most crime happens in poor areas. In America, minorities make up most of those poor areas. People result to crime worldwide as a means of survival. Plus, you are delusional if you don't believe crime happens in Vermont or Connecticut.

You have BET.
If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) ..
We'd be racists.

I call bullshit, sir. Last time I checked, whites owned BET. Since 2001, I believe. In fact, whites own most of the stations out there. And it's not like there are no white people on television. Shows like Laguna Beach, Gossip Girl and Gilmore Girls look pretty white to me. How about you start a WET? What a stupid name anyway. People would think it's a swimming or porn channel.

There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US , yet if there were
"White colleges" .. THAT would be a racist college.

I hate this damn argument. Are you completely lacking in history that you forgot blacks couldn't go to school with whites? These schools are HBCUs or Historically Black Colleges and Universities. That means, historically, they were save havens for college-bound blacks that normally would be denied admittance to "white" colleges, like Princeton. Walk on any American campus that is not an HBCU and you would see more white students than any one else. Sounds like a white college to me.

Just to add on to this unfounded statement. Whites can go to these schools and many do. Usually on scholarships made for whites who go to HBCUs. I knew plenty of whites applying to Xavier University of Louisiana for its rigorous pre-med program, or to Howard for its pre-law program. One school even had its first white valedictorian last year.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching For your race and
rights. If we marched for our race and rights, You would call us racists.

Oh, COME ON! White people march all the time. Abortion rights, religious rights, gay rights, the environment, animal rights, war efforts. If it's political, white people are there.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're Not afraid to
announce it. But when we announce our white pride .. You call us racists.

Uh....Irish pride. German pride. French pride. British pride. Russian Pride.
Armenian pride. Scottish pride. And who are orange people?

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer Shoots
a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running From the law and
posing a threat to society .. You call him a racist.

This is where the poem goes from paranoid to irrational. Just because I am black doesn't mean I'm going to rob you. In fact, I don't think most blacks out there want to rob you. But with this quote you paint all black people to have these tendencies. For the record, this is what pisses black people off. And it's a racist assumption. I mean, most American serial killers and terrorists are white. Should I believe just because you are white, you want to strangle me and store my corpse in your crawlspace?

I'm not racist, but I think these "special" people should open a book, take a history course, and stop watching the O'Reilly Factor. A little research never hurts anyone.

"Non-Racists" who quote racists: stop ticking me off!

Group #12: PDA-loving Lovebirds

In honor of Valentine's Day, I would like to use some Internet space in order to rant about a special group of people who tick me off. They probably tick you off, too. It's those lovebirds that kiss and hug up on each other in public.

I have a boyfriend, and yes, I kiss him in public. However, there is a difference between me kissing the cheek of my boyfriend of nearly five years and those teenaged, hormone-filled couples that have been going steady for a week. That difference is about 2 movie ratings.




Ewww. You can see the slobber. I feel like I need to take a shower just from watching. Look, I know you are in love, or whatever, but can't you two do this somewhere else? Your parents' bedroom, the back seat of your Ford Echo, your sister's dormroom, anywhere but in public! Put your hands where I can see them! Uhh...not there. And you, guy, put on some baggy pants! I feel like I'm going blind.

I guess there is something wrong with me. How can I not want my boyfriend, all day, everyday, so that we are together in public, I'll let him unhook my bra while I'm still wearing my shirt? Oh yeah, it's because I'm an adult.

So keep pawing at each other. That way, you won't notice me slipping saltpeter in your Dr. Pepper.

PDA-loving Lovebirds: stop ticking me off!

Group #11: Musicians or other non-actor "Celebs" who think they can act

What a way to cheapen the craft of acting. I don't consider myself an actress by any means, but I have friends who are actors and I respect their craft to the fullest. However, just cause you have a little money doesn't mean that your ass can act!

So, you thought it would be cool to be in a movie. Maybe you even thought about your Oscar acceptance speech, how you can compare it to winning a Grammy. Well, keep dreaming.

Even if actors do what they are told, acting is not for the faint at heart. Your heart must be in it, or else you get a steaming pile of s*** like Soul Plane.

There are too many violators to count. Jessica Simpson, Snoop Dogg, Beyonce, Bono, Paris Hilton (God help us), Lil' Wayne, Lil' Romeo, even pornstars--and we all know how much acting goes into that! Believe me, there are exceptions to the rule, such as Mos Def or Queen Latifah, but these are few and far in between. You are not a Singer-"slash"-actor. You are just some celebrity wasting some time and money. But hey, better a movie than drugs, right?

Your acting career should consist of showcasing your house on MTV Cribs. Leave the acting to the actors. Maybe my actor friends should cut an album. See how you like that.

Musicians or other non-actor "Celebs" who think they can act: stop ticking me off!

Group #10: PeTA

I love animals. I think they are great companions to humans. What's not to love about a loyal dog, or your trusted horse? But...I hate PeTA with a passion that burns in my very soul. I came up with 15 reasons why I can't stand PeTA:

1. Everyone cannot be a vegan. You are not going to convert people who spent most of their lives eating what they eat. Not to mention, many domestic animals were raised to be food. Wouldn't this throw off the ecological balance if we all stop eating them? Think about this, PeTA...

2. They have such a high and mighty attitude that they claim Jesus was a vegan. Apparently, they must have not realized that Jesus was Jewish and followed Jewish traditions. Lamb is eaten during Passover. And I guess the story about the five loafs and two fish that fed thousands of people was made-up, huh? Jewish culture insult #1.

3. They don't want us to exploit animals, but yet they exploit women and sex by having the naked campaign ads, as well as the new ad banned from TV. LOOK AT IT!!! You have an underwear-clad woman rubbing her pelvis against a pumpkin! I'm sorry, I'm usually against censorship, but this ad makes me NOT want to eat the veggies I love. Now every time I have a carrot, I'm gonna wonder where it's been. F*** YOU, PeTA!

4. On their website, they rant about New Orleans not running their pro-spay and neutering ad-spot. The ad spot features a couple encouraging their teenage daughter to have as much sex as she wants, even if she gets pregnant. PeTA calls NOLA hypocritical for not airing this ad, but hosting Mardi Gras. Oh, I forgot. PeTA would hate that since the holiday is named for the meat feasts during the time period. Yeah, that's way hypocritical. Gulf Coast culture insult #1. (P.S. Mardi Gras is a religious observance occurring before the pious fasting period of Lent.)

5. Speaking of animal control...so, lemme get this straight. We shouldn't eat animals for food, but we should cut their gonads off so they won't reproduce? That makes no sense, PeTA! Don't animals have the right to have offspring? I mean you are an animal rights group. Animals can't choose to have birth control like humans.

6. During the disaster of Hurricane Katrina, PeTA kept making all kinds of noise about "abandoned pets." They just couldn't understand why pet abandonment was so widespread. News flash, PeTA: it wasn't and never has been. Pet abandonment in natural disasters is a felony on the Gulf Coast. However, dogs and cats both have a habit of running off to escape the storm themselves. People on the Coast know this and try to prevent it as much as possible. Furthermore, the "majority" of "abandon pets" never left the sides of their owners, who are now floating face down in the toxic water. Gulf Coast culture insult #2.

7. PeTA rescued animals, but not humans in the aftermath of Katrina. Even the White Supremacist group National Vanguard rescued people. Gulf Coast culture insult #3.

8. PeTA kills animals that don't get rescued and are against anti-kill shelters. Wait, so PeTA can decide what animals live or die? Where the hell is animal rights to life? And we STILL can't eat them to live ourselves? What the F***, PeTA?

9. PeTA uses celebrities in their campaigns, patronizing to its target demographic. They also seem to not care whether said celebrity uses fur in their clothing line (Kimmora Lee Simmons), is a pornstar with a VD (Pamela Anderson Lee), or eats meat despite starring in vegan ads (Sophie Monk).

10. PeTA often argues that soy can be made more meat-like and that faux fur looks better than real fur. Ok, but why even make that argument? Faux fur looks just like real fur. Isn't that defeating the point?

11. PeTA has given lots of money to known domestic terrorists groups, such as the Animal Liberation Front. ALF is usually seen as terroristic as anti-abortionists who bomb clinics. These are the wackos of animal rights groups.

12. PeTA is against milk and diary. You know, that stuff your doctor tells you to eat and drink for good digestion and strong bones. Your mom used to tell you this.

13. Speaking of momma, PeTA seems to target children by questioning wisdom our moms teach us. My mommy does not kill animals. She only cooked them. It is people's right to teach whatever they want to their children, even sick, twisted stuff like hate for others. It is still a parental right. Respect that, PeTA.

14. PeTA has compared the suffering of animals raised for food to the Holocaust and American Slavery. How is that even remotely the same??? Nazis didn't eat Jews. Whites didn't eat slaves. Double insult: Jewish culture #2 and American Blacks.

15. PeTA is against using animals for AIDS research. WHAT??? PeTA's founder Ingrid Newkirk has been quoted saying that PeTA would still be against using animals even if it leads to a cure. Love valuing animal life above human life, huh, PeTA?

Bonus: PeTA was pissed in 2003 when a Palestinian bomb blew up an Israeli bus. No one was hurt, thank God. But PeTA was upset since the bomb was strapped to a donkey. A portion of the note written to Yasser Arafat.

Your Excellency ... We have received many calls and letters from many people shocked at the bombing ... in which a live donkey, laden with explosives, was intentionally blown up. All nations behave abominably in many ways when they are fighting their enemies, and animals are always caught in the crossfire. The U.S. Army abandoned thousands of loyal service dogs in Vietnam. Al-Qaeda and the British government have both used animals in hideously cruel biological weaponry tests. We watched on television as stray cats in your own compound fled as best they could from Israeli bulldozers.... If you have the opportunity, will you please add to your burdens my request that you appeal to all those who listen to you to leave the animals out of this conflict?"

So who cares if any Jews or Palestinians were killed, as long as animals are left out of it? Jewish insult #3.

You really have outdone yourself, PeTA. PeTA: Stop ticking me off!!!

Group #9: "I-can-press-the-button-too" Elevator Button-Pushers

Going up? So are we. I see you are stopping on the 5th floor. So am I! But, guess what? I already pressed the button. I don't think the elevator will get to the floor any faster with a second push.

It's like these people do not trust others already in the elevator. We're going to the same damn floor! Must you have control over everything? Did you mother deprive you of button-pressing experience as a child? No one over the age of five should press the same elevator button twice.

How about those button-pushers on elevators that only have two flights. LA's subway stations are full of these people. You are going from Platform to Mezzanine when four people behind you all press the Mezzanine button! ALL of you are getting off at the same floor! The elevator only has two!

Look. Don't you see the light? I guess in some elevators the button light can be broken, but how many elevators have you REALLY seen like that? Probably none. Those little lights can last through the Apocalypse. That way, you still will know what floor you are going off, even if nuclear blast destroys the rest of the building.

The worst offenders: people who press the button continuously while someone is obviously trying to catch the elevator. I guess the philosophy behind this act of selfishness stems from the belief that if you keep pressing some button other than "open doors" the doors will close faster. I think it's all in your mind. In fact, some elevators seem to fuck with people who think this. Remember the last time you may have been in an elevator and the "Close door" button failed to close the door? Yeah.

The "I-can-press-the-button-too" Elevator Button-Pushers, stop ticking me off!

Group #8: People who can't find squat on a map.

Why are people so dumb when it comes to geography? I'm not talking about finding that body of water that lies north of Iran (that's the Caspian Sea), but really, I hate it when people who claim to have a college degree cannot name the capital cities of the states bordering their own! Or cannot locate Iraq, Kuwait, or Afghanistan on a map, despite the fact we've been at war for a quite a while.

These people may say something like "the country of Africa" (I'm talking about YOU, Sarah Palin!). They can name the country that their sponsored child lives, but when pressed for details, they respond, "somewhere in South America." I guess that'll do, except your sponsored child is from Haiti.

They think South Dakota is a Southern state, or that Baja California is in California. Because the capital of Mexico is Mexico City, and the capital of Panama is Panama City, they deduce that the capital of Germany is Germantown. And there's no way Australia is an island; islands are, like, small and in the ocean.

You can easily trick one into taking a trip to London, Kentucky; Paris, Texas; or Rome, Georgia. To them, Jerusalem, New York is where that Jesus-guy hung out. And names like Texarkana and Mexicali are just too confusing for these people.

How about this: here's a GPS. Use it so you don't take a wrong turn in Albuquerque. It's in New Mexico, which is a US state.

People who can't find squat on a map: stop ticking me off!

Group #7: Panhandlers that follow you around--at night.

The economy is bad. Everyone knows that. As the economy worsens, you will see more and more people on the street. Here in Los Angeles, the homeless problem is so out of hand, vagrants are almost part of the scenery. There are so many, that their situations burden and overwhelm the non-homeless. Thus, we encounter the moral quagmire of handing money to people on the street.

I learned my lesson my first year in Los Angeles not to give money on the street. I gave a man in a wheelchair five dollars for his "baby who needed formula." I encountered him two weeks later with the same story. And again three weeks after that. Then I wrote a check to a woman who was chased out of my university's church. I told her I wanted to help her, but I do not carry cash (I really don't, for safety reasons). Even as a I wrote her a check on my way to class, she kept insisting I take her to the bank to cash it, or to withdraw cash. I told her I was late for class, so the check will have to do for now. She wouldn't take it.

I do give food if anyone asks and I have some on me. To me, giving food has more meaning than money. Sometimes if I have extra food, I would place it in a non-confrontational place in plain view of several groups of people. That way, whoever is hungry can save face.

Why do panhandlers bother me so much? Because most I have encountered are very aggressive. They corner me and ask for change. They almost yell out to me if I am wearing headphones. They block my path. They creep up behind me in stores and ATMs. They wait for me outside of train stations. They follow me if I say no. They insult me for no reason. They play on the sympathy and/or fear of others for their personal gain. And they are illegally obtaining funds out of people using these methods. If you are approaching me out of the shadows to ask for change, I will not reach for my wallet, I would reach for my mace!

Please do not creep up on me. How do I know you will not mug me? Or that you lack a weapon? Are you targeting me because I am a woman? And don't follow me to see where I am going. It's none of your business and it won't change my mind about giving you change!

Some tell you sob stories in order to play up the emotion factor. One guy even went as far as to complement me on my sense of style and beauty before asking for change. He also blocked the sidewalk so I couldn't just slip off and go about my day. After a long sob story about losing his job, I told him someone asks me for money everyday on my way to and from work. If I gave money to everyone I see in one day, I wouldn't be able to eat. I don't think he was expecting that answer.

The worst ones are those young hippie-looking kids you KNOW are not homeless. Why the hell should I give change to someone wearing Jordans? I can't afford Jordans. If you need a ticket to get to New York, sell your shoes or get a job, punk! Hell, I need a ticket myself. Will you help me out? I don't have any change!

Trust me, I will help the best way I know how, without feeling that my life might be in danger because of some aggressive panhandler who feels he's entitled to my money. If you are hungry, I'll give you a hot meal. If you are cold, I'll find a blanket. If you are lonely, I'll keep you company. But there will always be the rotten apples that ruin people's good intentions for those who really need it.

I just don't believe I am helping anyone by giving money on the street to random people. I now feel it's more harm than good. We are supposed to teach people to fish, not give them fish. Even God helps those who help themselves.

Aggressive Panhandlers: stop ticking me off!