Apparently, at some point in life, everyone once to become famous. Usually this dream goes away before adulthood; that's when you realize you may not want the paparazzi in your face while on vacation. Or going through a nasty divorce. Or being charged with a DUI. Most of us like our less-than-fanfare existence and if given the choice between rich or famous, would choose rich.
But there is a special group of people this does not apply to. Their stint on American Idol, The Real World, or Cops is over and they want to extend that 15 minutes as long as possible. These "celebrities" just don't quit. How much attention does a person need in a lifetime? And who cares?
Your typical, attention-whore C-lister thinks of this: "Hmmm, what else can I do to completely waste the media and normal people's time? How can I distract them from the escalating drug war in Central America or the child molester on the loose?" Take your pick. Talk about projects "in the works"with respectable A-listers and companies. Have more children than a kindergarten classroom. Sleep with a US Senator. Cut an album vaguely resembling music. Come out as gay. Some guy even killed a couple.
Do us all a favor and take a more respectable trek back into obscurity. Or is that not media maverick enough? Well, who cares. At best, people are going to wonder, "Who is this person?" At worst, prepare to overpromote yourself as the headline news story at some county fair or church festival in Montana. And remember that the banner for your event always has to read "Popular realty show-star John McMediaWhore." And remember to give them a shout-out in your exposé book no one would read.
C-listers milking that 15 minutes: stop ticking me off!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Group #15: Guys Who Use Cheesy Pickup Lines
It's bad enough going through life as a woman. Every civilization on earth sees you as a baby machine, or a man-pleaser. You get that painful, annoying thing every month, and people call you a bitch for showing a little leadership. So understand when I don't jump for joy when you tell me my pants are like a mirror. I don't see you in them!
Cheesy pickup lines should stay in 1970s sitcoms where they belong. Nothing says "I still live with my mother" than a inappropriate pick-up line. What's my sign??? Whatever happened to "hi" ? And stop telling me how much you love a woman with curves, or a full-figured woman. I know what you mean, and the answer is no. Plus, telling me how much you love full-figured women is like telling me you think I'm chubby, but doable.
You are not clever, sir. I actually feel sorry for you. But I still won't sleep with you. So I don't need another bone in my body, I don't wanna know how long I've been running though your mind, and I may scream your name later, but only to point you out to the cops, you perv!
Guys Who Use Cheesy Pickup Lines: stop ticking me off!
Cheesy pickup lines should stay in 1970s sitcoms where they belong. Nothing says "I still live with my mother" than a inappropriate pick-up line. What's my sign??? Whatever happened to "hi" ? And stop telling me how much you love a woman with curves, or a full-figured woman. I know what you mean, and the answer is no. Plus, telling me how much you love full-figured women is like telling me you think I'm chubby, but doable.
You are not clever, sir. I actually feel sorry for you. But I still won't sleep with you. So I don't need another bone in my body, I don't wanna know how long I've been running though your mind, and I may scream your name later, but only to point you out to the cops, you perv!
Guys Who Use Cheesy Pickup Lines: stop ticking me off!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
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