Group #6: Rickrollers

They lurk on message boards and internet conversations. They strike when you least expect it. They may even be your brother-in-law. They are the internet pirates known as "rickrollers."

This was funny for four minutes back in March. It was even funny when I accidentally rick-rolled myself in September. It was even funny when someone had enough time to manipulate President-elect Obama's speeches into a rickroll.



Now it's just annoying. They are not as annoying as spammers, trolls, or those people who fall for those chain letter emails that say," you will die tonight unless you send this to 50 people" (look for future groups...). But they are annoying just the same. I'm minding my own business, surfing the internet, talking on some great message boards, when someone provides a link to a great YouTube video pertaining to our discussion. "You gotta watch this," they urge. My curiosity gets the best of me. Click. What a minute. Where does this cheesy 80s music comes from? And why does the singer look like he belongs on Saved by the Bell?



How the hell did I fall for this? Fool me once. On to another site. Ok. Back to normal. Oooh, I would love to see a video about cute puppies! I love dogs! Click.



DAMMIT! What the hell, man!? Where' s the damn puppies? Whatever. Check my email. Looks like my friend sent me an video about Dafur. Click. Oh hell no.


How is that even funny? Those poor people in Dafur. To think someone used their plight to get me to click on a site, so I can look at some singer wearing too much hairgel. This has got to STOP!

Rickrollers: stop ticking me off!!!

Group #5: People Who Sing Along to Their iPods in Public

I understand how you can get lost in the music. I've done it myself. But not in public where everyone can see how big on an idiot you look. I know I am not the only one ticked off by these people. There was this guy today singing to his heart's content while I was waiting on my train. I had to listen to his tone-deaf ass maul through some Backstreet Boys songs all the way home! And it didn't help that he was Asian. One point for racial stereotype.

Worse, some guy decided to outsing him. I had to listen to them both! Someone said under his breath, "shut the hell up." See, now I really know I'm not the only one bothered!

Words of advice, Tone-deaf Asian Guy and Competitive Latino Dude, if you're gonna sing a song in public, sing songs everyone loves to sing to, like Christmas songs. Unless you're Jewish. Then sing something else. Also, allow people to bet on who tires their vocal cords first, kinda like the "Dueling Banjos". Better than American Idol anyway.

In the mean time: People Who Sing Along to Their iPods in Public, stop ticking me off!!!

Group #4: "Intellectuals" That Don't Know Squat

Socrates once said, "True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing." Well, there are alot of people out there who fancy themselves experts in everything, but are too stupid to realize that they are kidding themselves. And they tick me off.

Everyone knows one: the know-it-all that sounds dumber with every word that comes out. They insist that children get HIV needles in their Halloween candy, or that 9/11 was planned by the US government. They are part pseudo-academic and part conspiracy theorist. They point out politically correct facts that everyone already knows. Yes, we know that women are more likely to be raped by a familiar than a stranger. We also know that not every American speaks English or can read. Why do you think this is pleasant conversation?

They lurk places like Internet message boards and YouTube, spouting their warped statistics like some kind of Bill O'Reilly, Jr. Everyone else is wrong and they're right. They come in all forms: the racist academic, the European anti-American basher, the MBA who can't explain economics; the blue-collar everyman voice; the "doctor" who can't spell tibia; the "my dad says" teen; the anti-government nut; the "lawyer" who can't define due process, the mathematician that doesn't understand math; and the new college grad that probably drank his way through physics.

You are only going to make an ass of yourself. No one will think you are Einstein if you keep quoting chain letters that were emailed to you 15 minutes ago.

Pseudo-Intellectual Jerks: stop ticking me off!!!

Group #3: Rude "Sunday Drivers"

Everyone who knows me knows I do not drive. Even in the heart of LA, I don't need a car. I walk or take the train or bus everywhere I go, and it works for me. I can pretend that I am helping the environment. But being a pedestrian in the middle of car country is hard at times, and unsafe.

The particular ones that piss me off are the drivers who seemed to have bought their license. You know the ones: they cut through parking lots, push people on bikes off the road, and try to beat the light. Yesterday, coming from work, I crossed a street legally. A woman driver gave me the right-of-way like she was supposed to. The male driver behind her kept honking his horn impatiently, like he had some Colombian snow in his trunk and the cops were behind him. She continued to let me cross. Then she proceeded. He sped through the intersection cutting off several cars. You see: he was in the wrong lane. Second problem: I work in Government Square, a heavily policed area of town. So he probably had a ticket waiting.

I don't know how many times I have nearly gotten hit, or I have seen people plow through pedestrians and bikers, like they are in the way. What is UP with that? How about sharing the road. And the sidewalk. And please stop blocking crosswalks!!!

Sunday Drivers: stop ticking me off!!!

Group #2: Wiggers

Do I really need to blog about this one? I'm black, so you can see why this would tick me off. First of all, they are not being themselves, and fake people always tick me off. Secondly, they are using images of what they think black people act like and further instill the stereotypes.

I knew some wiggers once. They listened to hip-hop and tried to carry a conversation with me about how Tupac is the greatest rapper ever. Which is fine, except everyone has stated that. They wore Fubu and Phat Farm. They talked about "being hardcore gangstas". They used "black" slang from ten years ago. They claimed to love fried chicken and grape soda. They always wanted to know where the best weed was.

Well, I hate fried chicken and I don't drink non-diet soda. I'm not a Rasta or Jamaican, so wiggers would have to find their own weed. Go back to your bubble Mcmansion existence and take your mom's SUV with you.

Wiggers, stop ticking me off!!!

Group #1: People Who Eat In Grocery Stores Before Paying

I'm happily shopping along, getting my nourishment for the week, when suddenly some guy pushes by me munching away at a Doritos bag that he picked up in aisle 6. His children eat the popsicles from the frozen food section. Isn't there some grocery store code against this? Why do some people find it necessary to "sample" the groceries before they buy them?

I really, really, REALLY despise this. Why does this parent believe that it's okay to teach children you can eat something without paying for it? Grocery stores are not restaurants!!! You buy, then eat!

It grosses me out, too. This man just grabbed a box of cereal with his Dorito-stained hands. And guess what? The sticky children don't like that cereal. Back on the shelf it goes. Now some unsuspecting mother-of-five will pick up that box and get a nasty surprise of spit and cheese-flavored dust on her hands.

There should be a rule: No eating of merchandise in store. If broken, you and your sticky tax-deductions are banned from that store. You hear me, Doritos Guy???

People who eat in grocery stores: stop ticking me off!

First Post--Welcome

Hello world. My name is Sharonda, and I'm a blogger. Or maybe a wannabe blogger. Either way, welcome to "People Who Tick Me Off." I started this blog to get away from the more professional and functual tone of my previous blog "Pick-ups and Rewrites," to a more whimsical approach. Translation: I wanted to start a completely useless blog for the sake of time-wasting.

This blog serves no purpose but to be entertaining to the casual web surfer. Perhaps you will see a rant about a particular group of people who piss you off as well, or maybe you will tell me I'm a horrible person. Well, at least you are reading my blog. Welcome and enjoy the lesson in "freedom of expression."

--Sharonda, wannabe blogger